Helen Marie “Lynne” Besecker, 86

August 04, 2020

Helen Marie “Lynne” Besecker, 86, of Lancaster, passed away peacefully on Tuesday, August 4th, 2020 one year to the date after her husband and love of her life, Joseph A. Besecker, MD, died. They shared 63 years together.

ATTENTION: Helen’s visitation will take place on Friday, August 28, 2020 5pm-9pm at The Emerald Foundation 2120 Oregon Pike, Lancaster, PA 17601 at the rear of the property outside under a tent unless inclement weather occurs the visitation will take place inside. A Mass of Christian Burial will be on Saturday, August 29th 9am at St. Anthony of Padua Church 501 E. Orange St. Lancaster, PA 17602. Interment will follow in St. Joseph New Catholic Cemetery, Bausman, PA. Helen’s visitation will be LiveStreamed at 7pm when memories will be shared and the Funeral Mass will be recorded and posted on her obituary page. Visit SnyderFuneralHome.com to view both.

Lynne (Helen Mae, Mom, Gibby, Lynny, Nanna) met the Lord while having her back scratched and caressed by her daughters Suzanne, Kristin, and Karla, all of whom provided the loving care taught to them by their mother. Surrounding her with treasured things and comforting her with her favorite music and singing her most loved songs, Lynne left the world as happy as a person could be, especially knowing she was going to be with the Lord, her family and friends that preceded her, but mostly because she was going to be reunited with her Joe.

Moments after she passed, Lancaster County was awash in rainbows and as her friend and surgeon Dr. Edward Chory remarked, “She is at peace with her partner. What an exit. That rainbow last night was a stunner!”

The ultimate entertainer, Lynne Besecker, the Grand Dame of the Fulton Theater, or as her colleague and friend Edward Fernandez, Ephrata’s Performing Arts Center Artistic Director, called her, “The Mother of Lancaster Theater”, lived a life like a three-act play, and it was a smash hit.

ACT I

Born Helen Marie Fetsko on May 2, 1934. “Lynne” grew up with parents Andrew (coal miner and machinist) and Helen (homemaker, songbird, and saint) in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. She grew up with her three brothers; Jack, her oldest brother, Andrew (“Buddy”), and youngest brother, Donald. The Fetsko family was as close as a humid night in August, and as a Depression era family, they spent all their time together. “Helen Marie” worshipped her parents and adored her superman-like brothers. As much as she loved her family, she made the difficult decision to leave her cocoon for the big city of Philadelphia to attend nursing school. Because as she said, “A woman did not have many choices at that time. They could be a housewife, a secretary, a schoolteacher, or a nurse – I wanted to be a nurse.” Lynn enrolled and received her RN from the Jefferson School of Nursing in Philadelphia. It was there that the love story of her life’s production began.

She met a young handsome medical student from the State College area, Joseph Besecker, fell in love and quickly got married. “When Joe and I got married we had twenty-six dollars and he was a freshman in medical school. I worked as a nurse and he joined the Navy to take advantage of its Service for Education Reciprocity program,” she said. It wasn’t easy, but as she said “When I make a commitment it has to be 100%. I loved being married and I loved being a nurse.” Exceptional as a nurse, Lynne was frequently requested for by name by many doctors and patients desiring her tremendous care delivered with skill, love and humor. Soon after, the two started their new ensemble.

Within short order, Lynne and Joe created five new cast members.

Their first was Jeb (Joseph Edward Besecker), with middle name Edward after Joe’s roommate and lifelong friend Dr. Edward Baranski.

Second son came shortly thereafter and they named him Eric. The daughters Suzanne, Kristin and Karla completed their casting call, with the twins born in the Naval Hospital in Annapolis, MD, where Joe served and practiced pediatrics.

Lynne and Joe loved the Navy and lived on base, and then moved into a house off base for several years. She created a home that was the meeting hub of the neighborhood with kids, neighbors and many animals, including a pack of squirrels she trained to come to the door and taught them tricks for their peanut treats she would feed them on her shoulder. Mom loved all animals and her homes were always occupied by dogs, cats and whatever strays she would rescue. It was there when a neighbor – dear friend Virginia Droll – taught Mom how to drive and she was so proud to get her driver’s license. There is not enough space for the driving stories, but suffice it to say that Mom was not great at everything.

Much to the chagrin of the great friends they made there, after completing their service requirement, the cast relocated to Lancaster, PA and moved to 231 E. Orange Street. Joe set up a pediatric practice and worked at Lancaster General Hospital. Lynne oversaw the production that would consist of many talents. Her new show on E. Orange scripted many scenes filled with love, laughter, music and food! It was also the beginning of a long-term relationship with her beloved St. Anthony of Padua Church, a few blocks from her home. It was there she could practice her strong faith and have them help teach her understudies (her kids) the importance of a strong faith. Many moments of joy and sorrow occurred there. Baptisms, confirmations, weddings and funerals provided the stage for those important moments of Mom’s life. The Saint Anthony’s School educated and fundraised with her help. Often the “Luck of Lynne” would take over, winning more than her fair share of raffles and large bingo jackpots, always eliciting a big smile and the “Gibby Shuffle” – a precursor to the famous Icky Shuffle that was believed to be based on Lynne’s happy dance.

The E. Orange Street stage provided many a varied role – a Mom, homemaker, volunteer, nurse, and always an entertainer and musician. Lynne was an extremely talented musician and was mostly self-taught. While she could play anything that would make a noise, she excelled at the piano and used that to her advantage to occupy the crazy kids. She would play “Flight of the Bumblebee” faster and faster while her kids would race around the piano with glee in an attempt to run off their high energy. Occasionally Dad would join the kids in this wild Besecker tradition – only he ran outta gas before the kids.
She was a caretaker to all at her complex, even her elderly neighbor. She became his best friend. Lynne was always helpful to as many family and friends that might need a little help, whether it be a meal, a shoulder or a small loan or gift from her “Budka” – a private personal stash that she made by finding treasures at Goodwill, a yard sale or auction. She would turn the treasures into cash by selling these to earn a little extra cash that went a long way in helping a family of seven living off of a pediatrician’s new practice with five kids going to parochial school, paying student loans and making ends meet for the big family. It was a modern-day alchemy that worked wonders!

That talent and Joe’s hard work enabled them to make sure their family had everything they needed (as well as some things they didn’t) and fueled special trips to McDonalds, Dairy Queen or Dunkin Donuts – often one-on-one, providing special moments as well as treats to the lucky kid of the day. Those memories are most cherished.

Please note that Mom was not an easy pushover: she ruled with love and many times with tough love. Very much like a demanding director, in order to ensure only the finest performance, on many an occasion a childhood friend or relative would visit and comment, “I love your Mom, but boy – is she tough,” and we would reply back – “You betcha!”

Helen Marie extended that love to all and several times she added to her cast with children in need, taking in foster children that had no other option and cared for them until they could find a home or go back to their original setting. To quote a Lancaster Newspaper article about one such situation:
When Catholic Social Services was seeking temporary care for newborn twins whose mother had to remain in the hospital, they thought first of Lynne. Not only did she live nearby, have a nurse’s training and a pediatrician for a husband but she also was herself the mother of twins, two of five children born in just six years. Lynne couldn’t resist the plea. “I called Joe at his office and told him ‘Bring home a load of diapers, we’re having guests.” When she explained to her puzzled mate that a hospital physician had ordered alternate care for the healthy twins because of overcrowded hospital conditions, Dr. Besecker was thunderstruck. “It turned out HE was the one who had given the order to the social worker,” Lynne said, quipping, “He threw the ball and he ended up catching it.” The Besecker’s kept the twins for nearly four months. “I started to think of myself as their mother,” Lynne admits, noting the inevitable parting was “very painful.” The Besecker’s provided emergency care for two more foster children before resolving never to become foster parents again. As one who “loves children,” Lynne found the emotional toll of temporary parenting too much to bear.”

ACT II

After several years on E. Orange Street Lynne convinced Joe that they needed a bigger playhouse: promising Dad that they would make it work, they moved to 1209 Marietta Avenue – her dream house, a stately brick house with white pillars, many bedrooms and bathrooms and plenty of room to fill with her antique treasures and yard-sale bargains. Her eclectic taste created the “comfortable clutter” that provided the set for their life.

This dream stage created many episodes of dining, holiday bashes, family reunions, weddings, fundraisers, and legendary parties, all directed by the “Hostess with the Mostess.” The joy of the household was crafted by her and they were all both crazy and comfortable events that are seared in the memories of co-workers, family and friends.

Family was the epicenter of her home – and it was a home to all. Occasionally it became an old-fashioned card parlor where very competitive card games – mostly gin rummy – with Mom taking home the big prize, laughing with that twinkle in her eye as she took your change with the steely heart of an assassin. Despite her prowess, most would leave their stay saying they loved the house and they loved Mom – we all did.

One of Mom’s favorite things was her tight-knit group of friends – some of whom formed a band to play and sing for others at these events. Two of that group – Dr. Al Schultz and his wife Peggy – convinced Mom to audition for a community theater show. Shaking like a leaf and after many bathroom visits, Lynne was selected at her first audition which was the start of a new career in acting. She made the cast of the Kiwanis Club’s presentation of Mame. Her star rose quickly and shined in many local productions in this phase of her life.

Lynne once said when interviewed, “Of course I am prejudiced but I think community theater is another form of public service and public service is terrific. It is what I was put here for!” Indeed, she was – and that service brought joy, laughter and tears to a countless number of her fans. She touched her family and friends and even strangers with her over-the-top performances, and made many life-long friends. Her family could hardly go anywhere in town: when upon someone finding out you were related you heard “I love her – she is the best.”

However, her biggest fan was her husband Joe, often sitting in the front row laughing, clapping and whistling with approval at the end of the show. The two then hosted many a cast party that were as much fun as the production itself and created many lasting memories as well as relationships that followed them throughout the years.

But as big a star as she became, her best performance was at home where she starred in the roles of Wife, Mom, Sister, Aunt, Mother-in-Law, Grandmother, Great Grandmother and Friend. In these performances, she rose to superstardom. Whether it be teaching life lessons to her three daughters or making the best sandwiches and dinner for her two boys and

their friends, Lynne, as stated earlier, was committed: she gave one-hundred percent to her family and their circle and they always gave her rave reviews.

Lynne was an early riser and loved nothing more than peace and quiet with her coffee and a cigarette, and despite her children’s admonishment she would proclaim she loved to smoke and perhaps use some salty language when arguing her point. However, in the late 1980’s she and her theater pal and Hole in the Wall puppeteer Robbie Broucht went to a group hypnosis session, and when she returned home, she claimed it was all “B.S.” Incredibly, Mom never smoked a cigarette again, proving that Mom was not always right.

And while a strong woman, Lynne was crazy worried about certain things like the weather. Her Gibby days were full of panicked phone calls warning of the next pending weather disaster. That trait earned her the well-deserved nickname of Accu Mom. Mom also had a tremendous fear of flying – somewhat odd since her brother Jack was a test pilot. Driving quickly was also against the Gibby Credo: while she was not a stellar driver herself, she felt compelled to threaten to call the police on her own children if she suspected they were going a bit over the speed limit (Eric). That concern extended to her sons- and daughters-in-law as well – who she loved deeply as her own. Her stern warnings had the desired effect on most but not all (Suzie).

ACT III

In her final act, Lynne focused on what became a much larger ensemble. Daughters Karla and Kristin married and had families. Karla married John Goldbach who quickly became an integral part of the family. They had daughter Julia (who performed with her Gibby in the Fulton production of The Sound of Music). Sons Kurt, Erik and Mark all were a big part of the Gibby and Poppy Show, as were Kristin, who also followed in her mother’s footsteps and became a nurse, married Joe Gaenzle, and together added daughter Erika and sons Andrew and Joseph to the fast-growing cast of characters. The last cast members to join were great grandkids Isabella, Lilah, Joey, all Erika’s children; and Andrew added Aleiah Grace and Callum.

A special not-just-son-in-law Joe Gaenzle was so much more for too many reasons to mention. Including, in Mom’s last days, he offered her a grand gesture and climbed a two-story ladder to sing to her through her bedroom window.

Daughter Suzanne followed her mother’s example and became an exceptional nurse, even working as a hospice nurse – demonstrating the heart of her mother while administering with the brains of her father.

Son Eric and his wife Susanne produced two leading ladies – Delaney and Haleigh.

And son Jeb married Martha Kettler and had a wedding that featured the Mummers from Philadelphia – creating one of the greatest dances Lynne would ever perform – a strut with her husband, kids and family that would win a standing ovation from even the toughest South Philly critic. Their four children – Jeb, John, Liam and Lily – have tried through the years to replicate the Gibby Strut – but so far, no luck.

With the addition of so many to the clan, now Gibby and Poppy took on new roles as well as reverting to old scripts.

One thing that remained consistent from the inception: Mom was a person of touch. Mom used to pay for her children to scratch her back or brush her hair. She often handed out quarters for completing that job – her oldest Jeb having always gotten a dollar because he performed the required task at its highest level. The tradition however was reciprocated and named “The Scratch.” Her daughter-in-law Martha wrote the following piece:

The Scratch
Every Besecker knows about “The Scratch”. As a matter of fact, anyone who walked through the Besecker kitchen may have experienced “The Scratch”. Whether it be a light tickly motion up and down an arm resting on the kitchen table next to her or a wonderful head massage with fingers working through hair or maybe it was the loving stroke of her beautifully manicured fingers softly, rhythmically moving up and down a back; her muscle of memory of this incredibly tender gesture stayed with her until the very end. It was as if her love and energy flowed out of her exquisitely talented fingertips to the lucky son, daughter, relative or friend who remained silent and motionless of as long as she would work her delicate magic. And if you weren’t fortunate enough to experience “The Scratch” firsthand; if you were a child in her presence; you too would have felt those gifted hands caressing either side of your face, eyes twinkling, only to hear her say in her inimitable way, “You are bee-u-tee-ful” or “iiii love!”.

As the years progressed health issues started to take away friends and family and always the consummate nurse and caretaker to countless friends and family, she would cheer them up with hugs, words and song. A good friend, Judy Ware, shared one fond memory: “When Michael Mitchell from the Fulton was in the hospital and she and I were visiting him with some others who came with flowers and cards. I instead brought a bowl piled high with cherries. She immediately took the bowl and started singing “Life is just a bowl of cherries…” as she danced the bowl around the room passing out the cherries. The consummate entertainer! What a girl!”

That was until life changed gears and the nurse became the patient. A battle with breast cancer was first and while that prognosis was favorable, the body scans performed at that time showed signs of brewing plaque in the brain indicating Alzheimer’s was likely in the wings. Mom battled breast cancer with the determination that she always showed as a Wilkes Barre tough-as-nails coal-cracker. Excellent care from her Lancaster General specialists and her general practitioner Dr. William Bakken helped Gibby thrive in the following difficult years.

However, it was the incredible cruelty of Alzheimer’s, the slow erosion of mind and body, that challenged this quick-thinking highly intelligent woman. With the help of her family – mostly her daughters and with great additional help from her in-laws, especially Joe Gaenzle who helped Kristin and the rest of the family and was as dedicated to his “Sally” as if she was his own mother.

Mom and Dad’s example of providing great care and those lessons were sorely needed when Dad developed brain cancer and then needed help to care for his love – which he had been doing for many years. The sisters led the charge with the rest of the family, and friends pitched into care for them both. After battling the brain tumor, it had looked like Dad was on a good path – complications however occurred and after a long hospitalization Joe passed away on August 4, 2019. Lynne’s battle lasted just one year to the date longer when she joined her husband again – something they really desired.

Mom was not afraid to die (although my Uncle Jack tested that when he took her up in his plane or helicopter) and as a matter of fact she embraced it. Her faith led her to believe it was the way to Eternal Life and happiness.

While the circle of family and friends are crushed, we can only picture Dad, her brothers, parents and her many friends gathering to greet her. We envision a combo playing loudly one of her favorite songs to sing with her band – and they would be belting out Hello Dolly: “Hello, Lynny, oh Hello, Gibby, it’s so nice to have you back where you belong. You’re looking swell Lynny, we can tell, Gibby, you’re still glowing, you’re still growing, you’re still going strong…”

Helen Marie “Lynne” Gibby Besecker was always looking swell, growing, and always going strong. So as the final curtain comes down on this special lady, we need to celebrate, and as hard as it is while we are filled with grief, we should instead give her one last standing ovation because in addition to her loving it – she certainly deserved it.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made in Helen’s memory to the Fulton Theater 12 N. Prince St. Lancaster, PA 17603 or Ephrata Performing Arts Center 320 Cocalico St. Ephrata, PA 17522 or Emerald Foundation 2120 Oregon Pike, Lancaster, PA 17601.

Watch the tribute video